Chomp’s Big Day Out

Chomp had her third vet appointment in two months today. She had a massive hematoma on her ear and another bad ear infection. She gets them constantly. She is allergic to everything, guys. EVERYTHING. She can’t eat most proteins. She can only seem to have fish and lamb. She can’t have any grains. She can’t have potatoes. She can have chickpeas. That’s about it. I have to order her food online because the pet stores near us do not carry anything she can eat. One did for a while, but stopped carrying it because normal dog parents don’t spend that kind of money on their dog’s food. We do. I am pretty sure we were the only ones buying it.

Anyhow, so her ear was doing great. The hematoma had gone away and her infection was gone. I cleaned her ears this morning, and they looked awesome. As we drove to the vet, Chomp was able to determine this was not a fun outing. Almost immediately, she started whining. When we got into the vet’s office and waited for our turn, she paced and whined and climbed into my lap. She is by no means a small dog. She is 70 pounds (down from almost 80), and she is not fat. I am sure if I let her eat as much as she wants she would be morbidly obese. She is just a tall boxer. She shook her whole body a few times as if trying to get the harness off to run back to the car. She tried to get another pet owner to console her and take her home (she even almost got a treat from this woman… but alas, I said no, because she is allergic to too many things to risk it).

When she got into my lap again, I noticed that the pocket left from the hematoma had filled back up a little. Fuck. It was totally fine at home. So, the vet finally saw her and took care her back to fix the ear again (for a large fee, of course…). Chomp was not having it. The vet assistant had to DRAG her back to the treatment room.

When she was done, she was pulling so hard that she was not even using her front feet to get back to me. Seeing this, I felt guilty for having to take her to the evil vet (our vet is actually really sweet, but Chomp thinks she’s evil when she gets poked with needles), so I took her to the pet store. This is a super awesome treat for our dogs because I hate taking them out into the world. I find it bad enough getting myself out into the world. I am a bit of a hermit.

Chomp’s spirits perked up immediately upon pulling into the parking lot. She leaped out of the vehicle and was ready to sniff everything. We entered and went to pick out a new harness (because she is a freak and chewed up the last one). As we were about to check out toys, she stops and takes a MASSIVE shit on the floor. Before I could stop myself, I loudly exclaim “God damn it, Chomp!” (Keeping in mind, this is a heavily Christian influenced establishment). I find an employee and ask for a bag to clean it up. As we wait there next to her shit, the smell hits me. This was no normal dog shit smell. It was more horrible than you can imagine. And it fills the area. I am sure it wafted into the rest of the gianormous store.

The employee comes back with gloves on and a bag and cleaners in hand. I was totally going to clean it up as it was MY dog who took this foul shit on the floor. But no, this employee had to clean up her wet and disgusting poop.

Needless to say… I was so embarrassed, as many pet parents would be, we did not get a toy. We paid for the harness and left.

Chomp didn’t see why I was so embarrassed. She needed to shit. So she let loose.

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Of course I can’t stay mad at her. Look at that face.

Yes, I put her in the front seat and buckle her in. I am paranoid that someone will rear end me with her in the back where there are no buckles. Besides, she is my copilot.


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