Another Totally True Story, Bro.

Chomp Alien

I love Chomp’s face in this one. She is so obviously irritated that I would take a picture of her while she is getting strangled to death by an alien instead of helping her. Don’t worry though. I totally helped out after taking this awesome picture. It was tricky getting it off of her neck without cutting it off… what with the acid blood and all.
No animals were harmed in the making of this picture. Well… unless you count the alien. Yeah… that sucker is dead.

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Formaldehyde: The Smell of Success

With two weeks of school down, it is with utmost pride that I say I fucking killed it. I aced all three tests I had today. I did very well on the two tests last week. I have made friends… kind of. I began driving a student to and from school with me… because I am too fucking nice for my own good. I often talk with the students around me… and not even all school related. Aren’t you proud of me?

Anyhow, on Wednesday we got to dissect sheep hearts. It was enjoyable… well, except for the wonderful smell of formaldehyde. I almost forgot how it smelled….. almost. The first experience I had with the stench of formaldehyde was when I went to see cadavers at the local community college along with my fellow medical explorers. Yes, I was a nerd. I still am a nerd. But anyhow, I came home reeking of the stuff… my mother promptly said I smelled horrible when she picked me up. I came to be familiar with the smell of formaldehyde in my life. Fetal pig dissection. Rat dissection. Frog dissection. I took a lot of science classes. I can now add sheep hearts to the list. WP_20150902_14_41_37_Pro WP_20150902_14_41_59_Pro WP_20150902_14_42_46_Pro

That was my “lab” partner for this dissection. We had fun poking our fingers through the pulmonary vein and the aorta. We kind of ended up destroying the tricuspid valve in the process of the dissection.

Back to School

Today began my first official day back in the world of school. As I drove to the PIMA medical campus today, many thoughts raced through my mind. Was I going to be able to succeed? Am I ready to go back to school? Do I even remember basic math? Am I wearing appropriate shoes? Is covering my tattoo with a sweat band ok? Mostly, I was afraid I was going to be late.

I arrived a half hour before classes started (despite Chomp’s attempts to keep me at home longer…. she chased Mister, the cat, into the woods behind the house when I let them all out to potty… and of course…. I stepped in shit…. ), and I was able to find a parking space. So, about 25% of my fear was alleviated. I then walked into the main office and was flustered about where the fuck my classes would be. I swear to bob, they made the campus a fucking maze. I still don’t even know where the bathrooms are after four hours of classes today. It was a good thing I only had coffee and a protein shake in my stomach (and I relieved myself before leaving the house).

Anyhow, I walked into my classroom and found it empty except for two other students. I quickly sat down in the middle of the room and away from people. I fully expected that I would get to have a space all to myself. I had resting bitch face on while I waited for the class to begin. But no…. the annoying bitch from orientation who is so fucking perky I could die sat in front of me and some dude sat next to me.

The first day was mostly a Hi, how are you? Here is the syllabus sort of day. Four fucking hours of the syllabus and introductions and shit. It could have been an hour… two tops. But no, the professor had to go on and on…. and on. About Oh, on some days, you can wear jeans. And we have campuses all over. And he loves the seahawks, also, Friday is seahawks day (or something) and we can wear seahawks gear to class. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Then he literally went over every single fucking day on the syllabus. Is it just me? Or are students not expected to read anymore?

During breaks, the students initiated conversations with one another. I did not. I donned my resting bitch face again. But to no avail. The dude next to me introduces himself. Fuck. So, I was polite and introduced myself and carried on a polite but meaningless conversation. And to my utter fucking dismay, the fucking annoying bitch in front of me turns around and starts talking to me to. Even the sound of her voice annoys me. It is so damned chipper. I think I let my resting bitch face slip in the past few months. I haven’t had to use it as often. I think I need to bring my A game tomorrow and really exude the don’t fucking talk to me attitude of the resting bitch face.

Anyhow, when I got home, my husband and I quickly put together a dinner. While it was cooking, I decided to do the homework that isn’t due til Thursday. We hadn’t even opened our books today. But I was hoping that we would in class. I brought my cute planner, my monster pencil case (no, really, it is a little monster that holds your pens and shit. The zipper is his mouth. It is really cute.), my notebook, my laptop… everything. But no. We went over the fucking syllabus… for four hours.

Wow… this turned into a much longer rant than I intended. Anyway, here is a selfie for my first day of classes.

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Yes, it is in my bathroom. I am no good at this whole selfie thing. And yes, that is a sign on the mirror… it says Let’s Wash Our Hands in Japanese and in English. I found it odd and had to get it.

You Know You Have an Addiction When….

The internet randomly went out. I went through the normal things. Reset the wireless router. Reset the cable router. Disconnected and reconnected both from power. Nothing worked. The DNS was not working. My limited internet capabilities led me to call my husband and ask what to do next. He told  me to do what I had already done. In my frustration from having the lack of internet…. I firmly told him that I had already done those things as I am not completely useless. I had even tried to figure out how to get to the wireless router’s settings page that you can do on the computer. I couldn’t quite remember how though. My husband’s answer after my small tirade was that the internet service provider was to blame and to give it a little while and they would resolve it. That was not the answer I was looking for.

How long would I be without the internet?! And more importantly, Netflix and the World of Warcraft! (Yes, I am a WoW nerd. I have recently returned to it after years of sobriety. I fell off of the wagon of MMORPG recovery. Though, I am not nearly as bad as I was several years ago. I don’t play nearly as much. I promise.) Anyhow, for ten minutes I was frustrated as fuck for not having my entertainment available. Yes, I know, I could read a book or draw or clean or put in an actual DVD. My gods though, getting off of my ass and finding the appropriate disc for what I wanted to watch? I only do that for when I have company over and what we want to watch is not on the Netflix, amazon prime, or on our server. And I was not in the mood to read my book. It’s almost over… and there aren’t any more in the series as of yet. I am not even sure if there will be any more in the series.

So as I sat there wondering WTF I could do as I stared at my computer screen showing that it had no signal, it came back on! I cannot express to you how happy I was that I was connected to the world wide web again (And for those of you youngsters who don’t get that last bit…. the WWW. in front of all URLs stands for World Wide Web.). That was when I realized that I have an addiction to the internet.

When I was a child, I didn’t need the internet. We had TV, Nintendo, computer games you could play off of the internet, books, we could go outside to play, etc. We still have TV, but Netflix has pretty much trumped most TV watching these days. We still have video game consoles, but so many games require an online connection and updates and so on and so forth. We still have computer games, but I am partial to the MMO’s (massive multiplayer online). I now hate the outdoors… so going outside is not an option for me. Seriously…. the bugs. The neighbors. The weather. There is no good that could come from going outside. It usually means that I have to do something with the garden to make it look semi presentable. No thank you. And books…. we have kindles, tablets, phones, etc. for most of our books. I did, however, get a few actual books from the bookstore the other day. I cannot express to you how much I missed the smell and feel of an actual physical book in my hands.

But anyhow, I am fairly certain that when the apocalypse comes, (don’t beep me… BTW, I don’t have a pager… which I found an odd thing for Buffy to have in the first place… please tell me that at least one of you got that reference to a Buffy quote… or am I the only Buffy nerd?) I am sure I will go insane within the first week. I mean sure, I will be fending off zombies with whatever melee weapon I happen to find (though I think using a ginormous dildo beat zombies to death would be pretty epic and insulting to said zombies)… that would keep me occupied and all for a bit… but when I need to unwind from my day of slaughtering zombies… I will have nothing. I will go insane and attempt to go out in a blaze of glory… but just end up falling face first into a horde of zombie babies or something stupid like that.

Moments

That moment when you think you are totally out of good coffee and are forced to use the Starbuck French roast you got as a gift…. And then you find a small reserve of good espresso coffee….. And huzzah in triumph and tear up a little. Yeah…. I don’t have an addiction. I can quit coffee any time I want to. I just don’t want to right now.

Also the moment your mother says she is coming up to visit for the third time in ten years… And you look around the mess you call your house. Fuck. On the plus side, it is cleaner than it has been in like two months. But still kinda blah. My motto of the day was “Meh, clean enough.”

Note to self: Call in the reinforcements next time you need to clean in a hurry.

Erika… Korean Tour Guide Extraordinaire

I spent the day with family from the motherland, Korea, today. I met them and my mother in Seattle and played tour guide. I showed them the original Starbucks because they really wanted the photo op and original logo cups. I played translator for half of the group while my mother handled the other half. It was broken. But it worked. I mostly got the point across when attempting to speak Korean. It was riddled with English and horrible grammar. And I kept forgetting to add the formal ending to almost every sentence while speaking to my elders. Overall, my watching Korean soap operas has actually improved my Korean over the past few years. That’s right Rosetta Stone. I learned from watching TV. Well…. Not TV really. Netflix. I have found some of the best Korean dramas on Netflix.

Watching TV as a Punishment?!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/alexkantrowitz/parents-are-punishing-their-kids-by-making-them-watch-tv#.dmZl62gbZ

What happened to reading a fucking book, guys? It seems as though these parents have created this situation for themselves. Why would a child need a tablet? Why allow your kids to spend so much time playing video games and surfing the net?

When I was a child, we had TV, Nintendo (which occupied the TV), and later on we had a computer. I did play video games on the Nintendo and on the computer mind you… but we had time limits. And we had dial up internet when I was a teenager…. Dial up. Try surfing the web with dial up, guys…. it blows. No chance of watching porn. I call that a great safe guard. I spent my computer time playing Tomb Raider. The internet was a hassle for me. I only used it in high school to do homework. We had to log into a website to answer the quiz questions at home.

When grounded, we were not allowed to view ANY screen (though I totally snuck watching the TV when my parents weren’t paying attention. These parents are depriving their children of practicing being sneaky!). Why do these parents simply disallow any screen from being viewed and force their children to read or go outside or SOMETHING other than stay in front of a screen?

I say this as I have been surfing the net for the last hour and am texting a friend of mine… but the difference is, I AM AN ADULT. I know, I don’t act like it often. Nor do I feel very adult like most of the time. But the fact remains, I am an adult. Adults have the responsibility over their children.

Okay. I will get off of my soap box now.

On to a happier subject….

It’s Shark Week!!

thDUMGRN41